PlayStation News, Articles and Information for the UK and Europe

If there’s one thing that Gran Turismo 5 is sure to do it’s grab headlines. No other PlayStation game since the launch of PS3 has managed to gather quite so much pre-release hype and it’s not even out until Wednesday.

We’re big fans of the Gran Turismo games here at PlayStation Future but there are already enough stories about how fantastic Gran Turismo 5 looks so we thought we’d have a tongue in cheek look at some of the silliest headlines Gran Turismo 5 has managed to attract in the last few weeks:

• Gran Turismo 5 has no rewind feature and more 

When was the last time you skidded off the road into a big spiky hedge before hitting the rewind button underneath your sat-nav and rewinding yourself back onto the road? Probably about the same time you did it in a Gran Turismo game. Somehow, despite the fact that only girls use the rewind feature of racing games, it became news that there is no rewind feature in Gran Turismo 5. Presumably this news was also released at the same time as the leaked information about GT5′s total lack of a rideable Christmas goose.

• Is Gran Turismo 5 a Bug Disaster? New Glitch Video Emerged

Not only is this ’headline’ the biggest exaggeration in the world since Hervé Villechaize said he was tall enough to go on the Pepsi Max Big One, it’s actually referring to an earlier build of the game, i.e. not the finished product and hence one likely to have more bugs than a madame’s drawers. It’s a bit like saying you’ve found a ‘bit of old milk’ in a cheese factory and quite frankly is about as newsworthy as a Royal Wedding.

• The HUD Can’t Be Turned Off In Gran Turismo 5

To be fair, it is a minor issue that there’s no option to turn off the HUD in Gran Turismo 5. It’s probably on a similar scale to finding a mis-shapen Quaver in a bag a your favourite 87-calorie-per-bag maize snacks or having a garden with one too many blades of grass. It’s the kind of inconvenience that Lara Croft’s boyfriend will suffer when he finds out that Lara only has a 38DD bra size.

• Not all Gran Turismo 5 tracks feature weather effects

Like many racing games, Gran Turismo 5 will feature weather effects. Having said that, there has been a lot of confusion about this so we’d like to clear it up once and for all. Gran Turismo 5 is NOT a weather sim. If a weather simulator is what you’re looking for, try getting in and out of a cold shower or empty out your fridge and get inside for an hour or so. Better still, call a psychiatrist.  Yes, the snowy tracks will have snow, the rainy tracks will have rain, and the track generator will let you put weather on as many tracks as you can make, but whatever you do, don’t buy Gran Turismo 5 hoping to get your iso-bar kicks: not all Gran Turismo 5 tracks feature weather effects.

• No custom rims on standard cars in Gran Turismo 5

When it comes to tuning cars, a lot of enthusiasts focus on the engine, or the body shape, hoping to gain some extra cornering grip or a bit of a power boost. That’s what Gran Turismo is all about: making your car the best damned racing car in its class. That said, there is an alternative school of thought that says none of this matters, as long as you can look like a complete tool with a snazzy set of customised rims. You see, the reason this season’s Red Bull F1 car won so many races wasn’t because of the finely tuned engine or the downforce generated by the clever front wing, as so many people thought. It was actually because Sebastian Vettel snuck into the garage at night with a spray can and ‘jazzed up’ the rims on his car.

So there you go, a comprehensive rebuttal guide for the silliest headlines that Gran Turismo 5 has generated so far. Roll on Wednesday, by which time we’ll be far too busy playing Gran Turismo 5 to worry about any more headlines for a long, long time!

DISCLAIMER: This is just a bit of fun to soak up some time before Gran Turismo 5 is released. Please don’t take anything in this article too seriously. Except the part about the goose.